The Voice

Reading is one of my favorite hobbies. Books, magazines, blogs, forums, instant messenger conversations, even MIT courses, i simply enjoy reading! I have kept a blog on multiple different websites for four or five years. I occasionally read my thoughts, ideas, and concepts from when i was much younger. It's quite interesting honestly to watch myself progress with time; watching my morals change as my experiences do, my fascinations break off as my ignorance becomes knowledge. Reading my blogs sometimes reminds me of a mystery/action novel. The type you enjoy profusely and have read several times over, but keeps pulling you back.

Something dawned on me the other day. I was reading blogs and photo descriptions on Flickr. I stopped while observing a design displayed, when something hit me like a sack of bricks. While i was reading these blogs and descriptions, i had assigned a voice to the writers of such. I have never once seen the authors, i know nothing about them other than the text on the web and the pictures displayed, yet somehow, i had created an identity for them. Each post had a unique voice, a tone, and a pitch. Where does this come from? How have i assigned a basic identity to someone whom i have not seen, heard, and know nothing about? If i were to hear that voice, how would i react? Would i feel familiar with them as if I'd known them for years, or would i never put the two together?

Everybody has certain habits. Some of which are fairly ordinary, putting on your seat belt for instance, and some that are specific from person to person. For instance, i have several habits that come to mind immediately: I smoke, I watch my speedometer as often as i do the road, i put my sunglasses on top of my head when inside, i change my voice tone when using a sales technique. Those are all 'habits' that i have and portray on a regular basis. One habit in particular however, is a bit different. I analyze. In fact, it has become an obsession. I analyze you, i analyze my client, my customer, my boss, my friends, my co-workers, and finally myself. At one point in time I would analyze myself on a fairly shallow level: how i look, is my hair combed correctly, is my skin dark enough, are my clothes ironed well enough, do my sun-glasses go with my shirt?. Time progresses though, and so does the depth of my analytical behavior. I have found, upon repeated analysis, i can trace everything that has ever happened to me or because of me to one night at a roller skating ring in 9th grade. I'm sure i can move even further past that day, however for some reason, that point pulls at me. Every decision i made, every phone call i dialed, and every friend i befriended, from that day forward, i can explain how, and why my mindset allowed those decisions to be made. Time moves forward once again. Not only do i analyze my appearance, my lifestyle, my career, my ambitions, my colleagues, i analyze my thought patterns. Several times i have caught myself mid-stream analyzing how i came to be thinking the current thought that was going through my head. It has become a gift and a curse, from the moment something is said, seen, heard, pausing time, i can accurately predict an advanced thought, action, idea.

Reason I have divulged you into my habit of analysis is because the voice that we associate with the text on a screen, in a book, over a video game. Is devoid of my analysis, even while purposely attempting to connect a voice that i have associated with an individual reading, to the reason for that, i can not. It simply intrigues me.